Today would be the day. Jeanne sighed and listened for a while, before opening her eyes. She could hear bars slamming, yelling and whistles in the distance, but she’d grown accustomed to it, like one who no longer hears the crickets at night. When she did open her lids, a cloudless sky mocked the seriousness of her final day.
The lifeless black box stared at her when she entered the main room. It remained where she left it, on the table, and defied her very use of it. Jeanne almost wanted to throw it across the room, but she knew its purpose here, and why she asked for it in the first place.
She sat on the table and stared back at the tape recorder. It was time.
Record.
“I returned to my apartment, which is strange to describe. It consists of three levels, the the main room is an open square. Each level has its own staircase and the room that day was flooded with sunlight. That’s when she came in.
“I saw her from the corner of my eye and tried to get to my apartment before she could reach me, but she just came up to me yelling like a mad woman.
" ‘Why were you with him,’ she fumed!
" ‘You’re taken, why do you care,’ as if it wasn’t bad enough I hurt him, this bitch was getting on my case.
" ‘You had no right!’ she was grabbing my shoulders now, but her little frame could hardly move me.
" ‘I know, I didn’t want...’ I tried to finish but she cut me off.
" ‘LIAR! He just wanted to be your friend and you..’ the rest was indescribable. That woman looked at me with crazed eyes.
‘You just wanted his warmth.... But you stole that from him!’ “
Pause.
She put the device down and went to the fridge. The water wasn’t changed; that meant they didn’t complete surveillance last night. Maybe they wanted to give her a last chance for a good night’s rest. She let the door to the fridge close on its own and returned to the table. Rays of sunlight were already heating the floor.
Unpause.
“She was wearing a bathrobe. I figured her feet must be wet, but I came to accept the truth of it. She couldn’t have slipped from the landing, the stairs are carpeted.
“When she screamed, someone from the third level came out to see what was going on. I don’t think he saw me push her, or even see where she initially came from. But he did see her broken body strewn across the bottom floor, blood pooling from her head and chest.
" ‘Jeanne... Jesus, what happened? ‘ he asked me.
“Although I opened my mouth, nothing came out. My legs had another idea.... and I found myself running. Through my front door I went, looking to climb out to the window ledge to escape. There’s a trellis-thing on the side of our building that I’ve used often to get to the roof for privacy – it was very convenient for that instant. When I reached to one of the window roofs, I sat there and cried.
“Have you ever had the feeling that your heart was sinking? That you’ve done something so terrible, it-it makes your heart feel lower in your chest? Well, that’s the feeling I still carry with me. The reason I’m doing all this. I wanted to tell Mr. Adam thank you, for everything he showed me... I...”
Pause.
Jeanne sniffled, then wiped her eyes. “Now I have to explain Derek... Damn.”
Unpause.
“Derek was the guy I talked about before, the one who might have seen the fall. He used to date the crazy bitch, well, he still might have but the way we were going at it, I’d say he lost interest...” Jeanne smiled and laughed at that.
“Derek worked on cars at the mechanic’s shop downstairs from our apartment. He always smelled of oil and tires when he came home. Even though he was going out with the crazy bitch, her name was Marianna, we didn’t let our looks to each other go unnoticed. So, we fooled around once or twice, it meant nothing, just fulfilling our basic instincts, and remained friends.
“When I was out on the roof, crying, Derek came up to see if I was okay. When he offered that greasy hand to help me down, I realized the mistake I made. Marianna wasn’t talking about Adam earlier. I pushed her because I thought she was blaming me for Adam’s sadness. Since that wasn’t the case, it was time to turn myself in.
“I accepted Derek’s hand and climbed off the roof. The police were already downstairs and he turned to me:
" ‘Are you sure you want to go down there?’
" ‘Yeah...’ was all I can remember saying.
“The police were waiting for me, and they seemed surprised that I was the one coming forward. I turned toward Derek and thanked him, to which he replied:
“ ‘Just returning the favor. Please, take care of yourself.’ And the police took me away.”
STOP.
A knock at the door startled her. “I’m done,” she answered. Sliding the tape recorder across the table, she whispered “I’m done...”
Keys jangled at the lock, and the cell door opened.
“It’s time Miss ...”
“I’m ready,” she interrupted.
Although this was off her chest, she still felt remorse. Stiffly, she held out her arms to be cuffed and they led her away from the cell. Since she was completely cooperative with the police, she was offered two requests before her execution. Jeanne asked for a bottled water, and a device to record her confession.
True, she was being held because of the murder of Marianna Kensington, but this sentence was only fitting for her behaviour. The act of rejection was truly the worst crime of all.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
"Thank you, for everything!"
Jeanne sat at the table, watching the small box across from her. She stared at its menacing buttons, and rotating eyes, not sure what exactly she should say. It would almost be intimate, speaking her thoughts and recollections out loud, alone, except for the box. Nothing like paper, or even a video - but pure magnetic audio tape...
She took a deep breath and picked up the tape recorder.
"There was this guy i once knew. He was kind of quirky, in that smart kind of way. You know, the kind of guy you want to cringe from, because he said something embarrassing, but you'd never do it, because what he said - well, it was the truth.
"I met him online. He was a tour guide, to some off chance diner that i used to frequent. We decided to meet up because i just couldn't take being in my apartment any longer. That's another story that will come in later. I saw that he knew a little more about the history of this diner, and i emailed him, asking him to join me for dinner."
Pause, it was a strange word, but it meant the world. She wasn't ready to go on, not yet. His memory was too clear in her mind. Jeanne was a little afraid, afraid she'd feel those feelings again. The feelings that were so dear to her, yet forbidden to have. It was impossible now. Unpause.
"Let me tell you about the diner. It had the corny black and white checkered floors, red booth seats and chrome lined tables. Every day i'd see the master chef behind his counter, a tipped white short-order hat graced his balding head. He always smiled when i came in, because he knew at least someone would enjoy his food that day. By now i'd come to know the entire staff. Sara was my favorite waitress and i noticed, quite subconsciously, that i'd come in during her shift just for the great service.
"Benny was the man behind the counter and Pedro was the busboy," she laughed and pressed pause again, wondering if she should keep laughing on the tape. She decides to, unpause.
"Despite Pedro's name, he didn't speak a word of spanish, and he got more than a few looks for being a busboy. But he loved his job, the atmosphere, the people, even his boss, Benny. I used to talk to Pedro from time to time, it was another reason i loved the diner. Now i'm getting off topic.
"Adam was his name. It was a pure name, as pure as his dark roots and blond hair. It was sandy brown, and messy, just the way it should be. He wore rectanglish glasses," she laughed, "is that even a word? Sure, why not. It made him very attractive, and the focal point was his eyes. I'm not sure why he was a tour guide. His intelligence made me wonder about his choice of career, but i wouldn't ever ask him about it, for fear of hurting his feelings. I'm also not sure why that might offend him, but it just seemed like the wrong thing to ask.
"Off topic again. So he came in and asked for me immediately. Sara quirked her brow and with a huge grin asked if he was my date for the night. He took the jest in stride, pushed his glasses up with a graceful, but shy motion and replied, 'Just here to meet her, how the rest of the night goes....' "
Pause. Jeanne closed her eyes. Tonight it was clearer than most nights. One of the reasons she decided to record it. But she wasn't ready for the feelings to come back with the memory. It was always taught to suppress the feelings, so as not to taint the image, but these feelings were too strong to contain.
Unpause.
" 'Miss Jeannne?' were the first words to come from his mouth. I nodded, and smiled. 'Mr. Adam, i presume.' and the night started.
"We spoke about the land ownership, the building site, the change in management and even the fire that brought everything down. Over a month, we made Thursday nights our hang out night; the diner, our sanctuary. Then something changed.
"Walking out one night, we were both silent. Like we knew what each other were thinking, but we didn't want to say anything. I turned around and found it hard to look at him."
Pause. Jeanne put the recorder on the table and went to the fridge. The yellow light shone on one bottle of water, and a tin container of last night's chinese food. She grabbed the water and went back to the table.
It wasn't until she sat down that she realized it was dark outside. Moonlight spilled across the floor and was reaching for the table - reaching for the tape recorder. She knew it was impossible, but something in the room wanted to break the device, but this was her only chance.
With a twist, the water was open and a cool wave of liquid splashed down her throat. Made her mouth tingle with numbness, until the wave subsided and she was clear headed again.
Jeanne stopped the tape, rewound it a little to remember her place, Play.
"Walking out one night, we were both silent. Like we knew what each other were thinking, but we didn't want to say anything. I turned around and found it hard to look at him.
Record.
"For the first time, i couldn't look into his eyes. Instead, i reached up and put my arms on his shoulders. He was trembling, just as i had been. There was no way i could describe how these feelings came to be. We tried to kiss, but i went to his cheek instead."
Pause.
"GOD, this is embarrassing....." she yelled. "But it has to be done!"
Unpause.
"Just as i hesitated, i realized my mistake. In that one little instant, that one scant moment, i broke his heart because i didn't fulfill the perfect moment.
"I was immediately devastated. I tried again to kiss him, but his eyes turned cold, and i knew he would never warm again."
Pause.
This wasn't right. When feelings pushed objectivity out the way, the account changes and facts may be skewed. It was time to leave it for tonight. Her heart had taken enough, and it was time to rest.
She stopped the tape recorder and returned the water to the fridge. Tomorrow is another day.
She took a deep breath and picked up the tape recorder.
"There was this guy i once knew. He was kind of quirky, in that smart kind of way. You know, the kind of guy you want to cringe from, because he said something embarrassing, but you'd never do it, because what he said - well, it was the truth.
"I met him online. He was a tour guide, to some off chance diner that i used to frequent. We decided to meet up because i just couldn't take being in my apartment any longer. That's another story that will come in later. I saw that he knew a little more about the history of this diner, and i emailed him, asking him to join me for dinner."
Pause, it was a strange word, but it meant the world. She wasn't ready to go on, not yet. His memory was too clear in her mind. Jeanne was a little afraid, afraid she'd feel those feelings again. The feelings that were so dear to her, yet forbidden to have. It was impossible now. Unpause.
"Let me tell you about the diner. It had the corny black and white checkered floors, red booth seats and chrome lined tables. Every day i'd see the master chef behind his counter, a tipped white short-order hat graced his balding head. He always smiled when i came in, because he knew at least someone would enjoy his food that day. By now i'd come to know the entire staff. Sara was my favorite waitress and i noticed, quite subconsciously, that i'd come in during her shift just for the great service.
"Benny was the man behind the counter and Pedro was the busboy," she laughed and pressed pause again, wondering if she should keep laughing on the tape. She decides to, unpause.
"Despite Pedro's name, he didn't speak a word of spanish, and he got more than a few looks for being a busboy. But he loved his job, the atmosphere, the people, even his boss, Benny. I used to talk to Pedro from time to time, it was another reason i loved the diner. Now i'm getting off topic.
"Adam was his name. It was a pure name, as pure as his dark roots and blond hair. It was sandy brown, and messy, just the way it should be. He wore rectanglish glasses," she laughed, "is that even a word? Sure, why not. It made him very attractive, and the focal point was his eyes. I'm not sure why he was a tour guide. His intelligence made me wonder about his choice of career, but i wouldn't ever ask him about it, for fear of hurting his feelings. I'm also not sure why that might offend him, but it just seemed like the wrong thing to ask.
"Off topic again. So he came in and asked for me immediately. Sara quirked her brow and with a huge grin asked if he was my date for the night. He took the jest in stride, pushed his glasses up with a graceful, but shy motion and replied, 'Just here to meet her, how the rest of the night goes....' "
Pause. Jeanne closed her eyes. Tonight it was clearer than most nights. One of the reasons she decided to record it. But she wasn't ready for the feelings to come back with the memory. It was always taught to suppress the feelings, so as not to taint the image, but these feelings were too strong to contain.
Unpause.
" 'Miss Jeannne?' were the first words to come from his mouth. I nodded, and smiled. 'Mr. Adam, i presume.' and the night started.
"We spoke about the land ownership, the building site, the change in management and even the fire that brought everything down. Over a month, we made Thursday nights our hang out night; the diner, our sanctuary. Then something changed.
"Walking out one night, we were both silent. Like we knew what each other were thinking, but we didn't want to say anything. I turned around and found it hard to look at him."
Pause. Jeanne put the recorder on the table and went to the fridge. The yellow light shone on one bottle of water, and a tin container of last night's chinese food. She grabbed the water and went back to the table.
It wasn't until she sat down that she realized it was dark outside. Moonlight spilled across the floor and was reaching for the table - reaching for the tape recorder. She knew it was impossible, but something in the room wanted to break the device, but this was her only chance.
With a twist, the water was open and a cool wave of liquid splashed down her throat. Made her mouth tingle with numbness, until the wave subsided and she was clear headed again.
Jeanne stopped the tape, rewound it a little to remember her place, Play.
"Walking out one night, we were both silent. Like we knew what each other were thinking, but we didn't want to say anything. I turned around and found it hard to look at him.
Record.
"For the first time, i couldn't look into his eyes. Instead, i reached up and put my arms on his shoulders. He was trembling, just as i had been. There was no way i could describe how these feelings came to be. We tried to kiss, but i went to his cheek instead."
Pause.
"GOD, this is embarrassing....." she yelled. "But it has to be done!"
Unpause.
"Just as i hesitated, i realized my mistake. In that one little instant, that one scant moment, i broke his heart because i didn't fulfill the perfect moment.
"I was immediately devastated. I tried again to kiss him, but his eyes turned cold, and i knew he would never warm again."
Pause.
This wasn't right. When feelings pushed objectivity out the way, the account changes and facts may be skewed. It was time to leave it for tonight. Her heart had taken enough, and it was time to rest.
She stopped the tape recorder and returned the water to the fridge. Tomorrow is another day.
Friday, December 02, 2005
free write
Guessthis will be another free write. No editing, no hitting the back uptton or anything like that. It's not fair though, because some of my stuff is edited by word... maybe I'll turn that edit thingy off. Ah well. Seems many people really liked my startrek story. I'm glad, everytime I get to write something that people enjoy, I feel I'm a good writer. I don't know how much of that is true, but at least it makes me happy hee hee
Wow, stufk, you're not supposed to stop typing/writing, when hyou get studk, damn there I go again, it was spelle d incorrectly. I wish I was sleeping right now. I don't think I had much sleep at all this eweek and it really ta tells on my mind. I start making mistakes and stuff. Aybe I'll email my teacher, I really don't know if I can stand gougn to class tonight. It's not thati don't enjoy class , my teacher is the best, but when I have very little lseep, I pass out beca from the exchaustion. Dmn my spelling is HORRIBLE !!! hahahahaha
And so it goes. I stoped for a moment, but only because I had to shift in my seat. I hate sitting for long hours on end. I should srtand and try to stretch or something. Maybe I could be a farmer and work to make things grow "OKAY... MAKE MY MOSTERST.... GROW!!!" hahahahahaha yeah power rangers. Ah, the blue ranger, "I'm partial to blue" ouh onh. Looks like I'm going to have a black blast foto the past.
Grab your sword , grab your hoe... stcrew your courage to the sticking place
Shining shimmering splendid tell me princess now when did you liast let your heard decide. Beauty and the beast . record it on slow, so it's fast. BONJOUR!
Totally loved talk girl and "nights and white satin..." don' know why that just came into my head. Hee hee hee. Freezing outside, everyone is talking about ebeing cold. Okay, time to end this.
Wow, stufk, you're not supposed to stop typing/writing, when hyou get studk, damn there I go again, it was spelle d incorrectly. I wish I was sleeping right now. I don't think I had much sleep at all this eweek and it really ta tells on my mind. I start making mistakes and stuff. Aybe I'll email my teacher, I really don't know if I can stand gougn to class tonight. It's not thati don't enjoy class , my teacher is the best, but when I have very little lseep, I pass out beca from the exchaustion. Dmn my spelling is HORRIBLE !!! hahahahaha
And so it goes. I stoped for a moment, but only because I had to shift in my seat. I hate sitting for long hours on end. I should srtand and try to stretch or something. Maybe I could be a farmer and work to make things grow "OKAY... MAKE MY MOSTERST.... GROW!!!" hahahahahaha yeah power rangers. Ah, the blue ranger, "I'm partial to blue" ouh onh. Looks like I'm going to have a black blast foto the past.
Grab your sword , grab your hoe... stcrew your courage to the sticking place
Shining shimmering splendid tell me princess now when did you liast let your heard decide. Beauty and the beast . record it on slow, so it's fast. BONJOUR!
Totally loved talk girl and "nights and white satin..." don' know why that just came into my head. Hee hee hee. Freezing outside, everyone is talking about ebeing cold. Okay, time to end this.
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