Free write....

Her head fell to the pillow, sleep finally took over. After hours of crying, there were no more tears left. blah... i need to write. my creative juices have dried after all the insanity that's happened over the last year. though, i find that' i'm most imnspired wheile walking. in the misdddle of the park, crossing the street, doing laundry. then my laziness sets ijn,.

why am i so reluctant to do what i once loved? perhaps its' because i really have gained a sens e of losing attachments. either that, or i'm attached to other things now. how do you get your old seldf back? i'm not usied to jachanging. i'm not used to beind different than myself. and now i look at me and i don't recodgnize the person looking back. it's a sham e really. all was vigiven up sofor something i thought i could depend on. then i failed myself.

The subway

Where warmth surrounds you in a soft embrace.
When it's cold outside and you need a place
To hide away in your secret place
On the train that rumbled by.

What fun adventures await the day.
"Oh how we travelled" they'll proudly say
To the ones that watched them ride away
On the train that rumbled by.

It takes me home, it takes me far.
You could never sleep by car
And arrive in half the time unjarred
On the train that rumbled by.

~wyn ^_^

friday night freewrite

getting back into the habit of writing. actually pulled out my planner so i could scribble a bit wile i as thinking. saw some trailers tnonight... friends went to the movies and reaminded me i have to keep tsome tabs on the real world. just to understand my surroundings and context.

made a really great friend a few weeks aog. sometimes we hang out, or go for walks. talking is awesome and i think this is the first time i actually made a friend on my own. it wasn't someone knowing someone else. imagine that, the introvert is a social butterfly. HA! wheatever.

where did my itunes ogo? damn steraming radion station. bring back my blac.. classical music please! time to find a new statuyion.

should we go to thje pspa for my fbirthday? not sure. really don't want to drag our asses over ther. sorry, very opotty mouth post. think i like posting beter from my laptop, but the mbile device canb e typed on anywhere!! _^________^

been listenin g to the last five yarars and draswing so many parallels. only i feel like th e faults o f boh partnnerrs was sfelt by me. it probably istn't fair, but i mjst do what i have to do tomorrow. if it means losing an apartment, hey.. i learned from thew best how to lose attachment.

Free write

Need to write, has been a long time since I heard wicked. It feels good to have something familiar. So many new things at once are frightening. Seems I can tyype slligtly better on a teo. Hahaha figures now the typos start.

Don't think this is as useful, I can't typr as fast as I think on a msall device. Too much at work. Have to claw my way out and drag my team to the light. Don't know why I have this feeling of being the only one that works I cnt imagine we woul d be working at all if no one was working, but why am I one of the few that srtess out?

Hope he's fee tonight. I'll need ..... Why oddo I feel I don't deserve someone to be there for me? I wasn't conditioned to thiink that way, at least not by past relationships. I have to be the strong one, alsways, to lead the pack. But what happens to a naturl leader that doesn't want to lead....

Breathe. Its a simplw concept, but so rarely done. Caught an attitude today because I don't know if certain eople realize how much we suffer. Attempts to help are nice, but we need some real-life solutions. Have grat ideas in calass, but that's just class.

I'm tired of this job. Everyone has an attitude, they don't need my help then. They can nastily go on aboout their business. Money is just not above happiness.

Sure, I say that now because I have it to live comfortably. Feel crushed with responsibilit and decisions..

At least I made a friend. Luch is almost over... Wish I had more time.

sunday freewrite

good morning. thinking of him, thrielller . dancing michael jackson whnen he was good. vincen t price was a great actor. the horror "the thriller" aaahahahahahahahahahahhaha

ahahahahahahahahahahha

80's music. makeing new friends of friend's families. little lkieddies. KIDDIES ARE LITTO!!! music makes me lose control. having fun with friends. the beauty of staritgin g over . think this is missy elliot. i miss yhim, but he's having a busy weekend, just like i am. when the kiddies are done with backshketball, we'll be together again. working out for th e 4 of us . can't wait for spiderman 3, hope id to doesn't suck like x-men 3. "who's around soto save you...?"

i have someone that seaved me. i didn't have to be a superhero alone.

birthday's coming soone, thing k thinkgs ah... messed that up ureally bad. dressing up is actually fun. who would have thought. gotta luf the eyes when you show off. like cinderaella at the ball, all eyses on me, love the attention, love the safe distance because you're so radient.

going to have a good year. going to bring my 3.7 back up somehow. can't believe this messed up my bgrades, but no more. i ;m taking care of what needs to be done.

i need to take care of me. have faith, no that's not the right word. i have faith, just not the will to put myself befoer others. i can't believe they samples furirlese? is that how you spell it... ah well.

went to a house party and actually had fun. its wrong to cartegorize people, but they were 80's music listening intellectualls. that 's my crowd. didn't realize i had a crowed, a place to belong. it feels really nice to stay up late and sttalk to a complete strange r who had something very simialar happen to them.

seems like so many people were unhjappy at no, in 2006. and there you have it!!

~wyn